A Letter To Self

This afternoon, the faculty took us up to one of the top points on the Kelly Campus, I think they said Lobo Hill (not sure still getting used to the trails here) - anyways, it was a great hike all around to get some bearings for the trails, see some examples of some lessons we could use to teach our students, and an opportunity to sit and re-think about the 'big why' - the reason of being here.

The faculty instructed us to write a letter to ourselves - a little weird and uncomfortable for me to grasp, but it was a good way for me to sit and reflect on 'why I am here in the Tetons?' I am not going to re-tell all that I wrote in that letter (some of it is kind of personal), and not going to lie - I am not really quite sure what I actually did write a few hours ago, but I can tell you there was reassurance, words of strength, and hope combined in one way or another.

I wrote along the lines that this is a chance to start a new chapter in my life - no one should ever feel like they have come to a plateau in their lives or settle for routines (before coming here, I felt like I did), and that you should continually stimulate your mind, body, and soul to strive for continual growth and excitement. Not that I did not enjoy my life working as a core-staff volunteer coordinator for DNS, but I felt as if there was more than just working everyday in a human resources position - I needed more; part-time teaching was not nearly enough on becoming a better educator, anywhere. I wrote that I felt this is a chance to upgrade my talents and knowledge to a whole new level, gain experiences, and indulge in opportunities that I am pretty sure I would not have gotten back at home - dancing and color guard for the past thirteen years has been a wonderful experience and lifestyle, but I need to make sure that I am perfecting my scientific knowledge and naturalist mentality, and who knows, get more into my drawing, or even more out of my comfort zone - snow! I wrote this is an open door for me to realize what 'theChristyBel' wants and needs for her life and this will help find the correct path of where I need to be and go.

As I wrote my last thoughts down in that letter, I remembered some words of advice from one of my closest friends, 'Remember you can only go forward, nothing behind you is worth having because if it was, it would still be with you.' So, I consider this new chapter and a fresh start here in the Tetons and with this graduate program, I believe that even though leaving the comforts and routines of Delaware will be incredibly challenging and trying to overcome a four-and-a-half years' relationship heartbreak while pursuing school will be difficult, something beautiful will come from this sudden 3,000+ mile move - a realization of self and a clearer view of what I want to do with my life.

Here's To Figuring It Out,
TheChristyBel